Red Hot Poker!

Yeah, makes a terrific metaphor. It's really what their called. For some reason, I think they're from South America, but being botanically challenged, I don't know, and don't have much of a care factor, either, but they're dramatic.

Anyway... Every Thursday, my mother rings a friend of hers who is a thousand kms away; they've known each other for nigh on fifty years and have kept in contact when Mrs B. moved to be near her children in Scone, and my mother and father moved here.

Each week, they catch up on the happenings - I have no idea what they can talk about for an hour, but they both look forward to the conversation.

This time, my mother chatted away about what I was doing and Mrs B. demanded to know when I was going to send her some of my work.

Could have jabbed me with a... red hot poker and I'd be less surprised, or worried. My work is not for the faint hearted. There's violence, there's bad language, there are sex scenes, there's betrayal and tragedy, all the good stuff. So what can I send an over seventy-year-old that, a) won't make my ears burn b) won't offend her or c) have her asking where I learned how to do that.

I sure as eggs don't let my mother read the heavy stuff. Short stories, yeah, they're not so... ah, aggressive. But to send something to Mrs B. that she hasn't read yet? Oh, the dilemma!

I gotta wonder: how do romance/romantica/erotic fiction writers cope? Do their mothers read the books? Make comments? Mrs B. has been a part of this family since before I was born and acted as surrogate mother on a number of occasions.

I'd like to say I'm a grown up about this, but... I'm not. Strangers looking sideways at me is one thing; being questioned by your mother, or your mother's friends, about the stuff you write is another thing all together.

I'm going to have to think long and hard about what to send, because I will be sending something; she won't let me forget her request - and yeah, I was chuffed she asked, until I thought about it.

"Build that bridge and move over it." Is probably the best thought I can come up with.