Not a velociraptor, but...

I think there's a reason why humans waited before descended from the trees; nasty carnivorous dinosaurs for one. Pictured is 'Banjo'. Australoventar (though I doubt it showed much love to anything other than a mate) is six metres long and two metres at the hip with clawed hands. All the better for rending flesh...

Banjo was found with two titanosaurs sauropods - Clancy and Matilda - in an ancient billabong in outback Queensland, near Winton. The names come from renowned Australian author, Banjo Patterson, who is rumoured to have written Waltzing Matilda in Winton. Clancy and Matilda are the first, giant, long-necked dinosaurs to be discovered in Australia and all three are the first found new dinosaurs since the Muttaburrasaurus way back in 1963.

The new species, Australoventar, Wintonotitan and Dimatinasaurus will go on display at the new Australian Age of Dinosaurs Museum of Natural History in Winton.

Australovenator is Australia's first big predator and Banjo was found with Matilda. Did Banjo try to take down Matilda? Or did the mud drag them both to their doom?

To give you a comparison in size, Deinonychus, the largest known of the velociraptor family was 3.4 metres in length and less than a metre in height. I think Banjo would have had Dienonychus for lunch, then used the sickle-claw as a tooth pick.

According to palaentologist Dr Scott Hocknull, "There are at least 50 other sites we know that are yet to be excavated so the next 20 to 30 years in Australian dinosaur science will be very exciting."

Yep. Given Australia's list of strange animals (platypus, echidna, wombat, emu, kangaroo...) I'm guessing we're about to add to it - well, our unique species had to evolve from something...

Dashibles and other words

Ya know? If this wind gets any stronger, my undies are going to end up in New Zealand by sundown! Well... I'm jus' sayin'. Having your dashibles flying around horizontal on a washing line is no easy sight.

Dashibles? Ah, I feel a story coming on. The word comes from my maternal grandmother who had a friend that constantly seemed to be in a state of deshabille, a French word for - according to my Oxford Dictionary - "being only partly or not carefully dressed". My grandmother commented that her friend was always running around in her dashibles.

I've heard others, including fire distinguishers (are they people who can tell you what type of fire?), the telling of funny antedotes (I'm guessing it's a story with a cure), people who are bespeckled (no doubt because everyone who wears spectacles - bespectacled - also have spots), emeritious (pron. emerishus) professors (learned online fellows from Mauritius, perhaps?)

And none of these are misheard, but repeated. Unfortunately one is trying to become a writer. No names, but if I got a hold of the manuscript, I'd be having a few words with the alleged writer and making copious notes. Especially about posting an excerpt with such a glaring - if humorous - malapropism to a website.

If a writer is unsure of a word, well, there's the dictionary. Use it and check. Or if you intend to post it somewhere online, get someone to look the work over. There is nothing worse than a serious excerpt being laughed at because you've used the wrong word.

And yes, I've done it myself, but never (at least, I don't think I have) posted it. In one of my works, I had a character hit someone with a clenched fish. Any fish out of water would be tense, but a clenched fist is more effective against a villain.

It is easy to do, which is why editing your work is so important. Deliberately creating a character that expresses themselves using malapropisms is fine; accidentally is not.

Hump day

Wednesday and I'm working on edits; mine. I figure to be finished in the next week or two - depending on the time available. (Parental unit's 80th birthday bash coming up, so I'll be partying.)

It's been windy today, a perfect day for the washing. Trouble is, the sheets kept wrapping themselves around the wires of Hill's Hoist. I went out to fix them and what do I see? A juvenile Kookaburra sitting on one corner, barely a metre away. And what was it doing? Why, enjoying the ride! The wind blew the line around in a circle, and there's the bird, head into the wind having a hell of a time.

Shame I didn't have time to get the camera, but there you go.

I also finished Nora Roberts' Black Hills. Not a bad read. Lil Chance is a more modern and sensible woman, but Cooper Sullivan still has a stereotypical "I am de man and I make de decisions and you don't need to know why" arrogance which annoys the hell out of me.

I think the lesson is learned from Face the Fire where Mia forgives Sam wa-ay too easily and too quickly for leaving her years ago. I read the criticisms and they were mine over that, so Nora has changed the consequences in this book.

And finally, what's up with politicians accusing oppositions of "playing politics"? Not just here, but in the U.K. and the U.S.; they're politicians, it's what they do!

Clean up

I spent some time in the garden today. The compost bin is three-quarters full, which may prove to be a problem in a couple of weeks. It's winter, so the mulching will take longer. There's no real heat to act as a catalyst.

My hunt for brown compost has had the added side benefit of slowly tidying the yard of leaves. Of course, we've a gardener starting in three weeks and it looks like the garden will look a lot tidier. Kind of like cleaning the house before the cleaner arrives.

This afternoon, I was into the cupboards; anyone would think it spring! It's a good thing I did, the mouse problem I thought I'd solved, isn't. The little beggars have been coming through the back of one cupboard via the top of the insulated hot water pipe. Time to break out the steel wool.

Overall, a most productive weekend in cleaning and tomorrow I shall return to the computer to fix a book ready for posting on the Scribd page.

The Sea

I'm over the book writing gig for the moment - I've got a few days before I plan to post a freebie book over on Scribd. So. I can't remember if I posted this before, but it made me laugh and I thought I'd share (again, maybe):

A number of primary schools were doing a project on "The Sea."

Children were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the better ones. Here are some of the descriptions of "ocean life."

1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

2. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher age 7)

3. Oysters' balls are called pearls! (James age 6)

4. If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)

5. I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

6. A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)

7. My uncle goes out in his boat with pot, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 7)

8. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)

9. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 7)

10. When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)

Because you need to know

My sister sent me this and I had to share:

IMPORTANT HEALTH ADVICE FOR WOMEN.

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Sauvignon Blanc

Sauvignon Blanc is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Sauvignon almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding and start living.

Sauvignon may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister!

WARNINGS: -

* The consumption of Sauvignon may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

* The consumption of Sauvignon may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

* The consumption of Sauvignon may cause you to think you can sing.

* The consumption of Sauvignon may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

* The consumption of Sauvignon may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

Please feel free to share this important information with as many women as you feel may benefit!

Now Just Imagine What You Could Achieve With a Good Dry Merlot!!!

* * *

You know, I do love a good Merlot!

Freebie

The editing project is done and resting comfortably, but the surgery went well. I'll be assessing its condition in the morning, and then releasing the book back to the parent with some medication that will probably have side effects. I'm thinking check-ups will be needed.

And now, I shall treat myself to a freebie: Paperback Writer, aka, Lynn Viehl, has posted a link to a free book by Lara Adrian.