Basic Guide To Aussie Life

With thanks to About our community newsletter, here is a guide to Aussies, in case you didn't know how to recognise one...

1. The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm.

2. The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.

3. Whether it's the opening of Parliament or the launch of a new art gallery, there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle.

4. There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce.

5. On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out.

6. Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the plastic milk crate.

7. All our best heroes, are losers.

8. The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs from the hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.

9. It's not summer until the steering wheel is to hot to hold.

10. It is proper to refer to your best friend as "a total bastard". By contrast, your worst enemy is "a bit of a bastard".

11. A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, but a fine example of Australian footwear. A group of sheilas wearing black rubber thongs may not be as exciting as you had hoped.

So, there you have it: Aussies in the wild.