Your beloved... WHAT?

I don't get it. Truly. Is my e-mail a scam magnet or what?

In the past few of weeks I've won the Spanish lottery (twice), the Dutch lottery, some British lottery (because apparently, I was entered by some anonymous benefactor or my e-mail was automatically entered) and now I'm being offered a chance to handle an investment of $17.8 million dollars from the Cote d'Ivoire. How lucky can I get?

It's last one I find truly offensive. It starts off: Beloved brethren in the Lord,
Divine call from God! and ends: Yours beloved sister in Christ, Mrs. Faith Isaiah.

This 'poor' chicky is suffering from Leukemia; worse, she lost her husband and son. It even has a web address - the BBC, no less - for me to comfirm this sad and tragic story. Here's the text:

Beloved brethren in the Lord,

Divine call from God!

In brief introduction, my name is Mrs. Faith Isaiah from Northern of Cote d'Ivoire, married to Mr. Isaiah who was a business man (Cocoa Merchant). We married for 11 years with a child (Kofi). My late husband (Mr. Isaiah) and our only son were killed during the WAR (Abidjan - Bouake) Crisis some years back, in Cote d'Ivoire, take a look below for your confirmation of the WAR.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/3993265.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/3995429.stm

My dear, since my doctor have confirmed that I will not live long because of Cancer of Blood (Leukaemia), my condition is now critical and I might not survive but I believe in the world of God because he is able to make impossibility to be possible. Since my only son (Kofi and his father) my beloved husband have died, there is nothing again I can do than to donate this $17.8 million which my late husband deposited with a financial company for security reasons before his death, which he intentionally deposited for building of Orphanage Home and Hospital, all the documents concerning the fund are in the custody of my late husband's lawyer whom I will forward his contact to you for further communicating. Confirm urgently to me your full readiness to handle the investment of this donation for the benefit of orphans, widows and other brethrens in Christ that are suffering facially in your country with honest and faithfulness to our God, all your work in this donation will be reward back to you in millions by our living Almighty God. I will be looking seriously forward to read your immediate reply after going through this message from your sister.

Yours beloved sister in Christ,

Mrs. Faith Isaiah

Gosh. Someone is trying to appeal to my Christian nature. And, as we all know, Christians can't possibly resist widows, orphans and those who are 'suffering facially'.

Let's bend our heads for a moment's silence of the appalling grammar, spelling and stupidity.

Why would these people possibly think I'm that greedy or that idiotic to believe such bullshit? I'm aware of people who lose thousands to these scammers; it appeals to those who don't see what it's all about.

So, Mrs Faith Isaiah, you've struck out on a number of levels: I'm pagan, not Christian; people who are 'suffering facially' have the best of care in Australia ( my uncle was facial and dental surgeon; the two news stories have exactly the same date, time and sidebars; and... I can't get past all the 'God' business, it pisses me off. I know who my sisters and brothers are, they are all personal to me (not necessarily family) and not some amorphous since-we-all-belong-to-the-same-religion, we're-related crap.

It's sad to think people will see this as an opportunity to fast wealth and only lose their own hard earned cash. But there you have it.

Not this little black duck. And... try a different scam, pin-head, this one has been done to death!