One of many

In a recent interview, Australian recording artist Vanessa Amorosi confessed to having to write thirty to fifty songs for one good one. This told me three things: one, that the woman has music in her soul; two, that she perseveres with her craft and three, that the volume of work didn’t matter as long as she was satisfied with that one gem.

Writers, both superstars and unknowns, are rarely happy with their work. Something can always be said more concisely, with more emotional punch, better. The difference is perseverance and the knowledge of when to let go. A lot of authors have files of unsold, completed manuscripts.

I’ve been editing again. And yeah, I say that like it’s a sin, like it’s an addiction I’ve given into once more, like I can’t help myself… woe.

I read through and change minor things and wonder if the setting is wrong (could it be set in Australia rather than the U.S.), the dialogue is off (would they really say that?), the motivation isn’t really effective (why would they do that?), the characters aren’t deep enough (could the language be stronger?), the consequences are too light (would they get away with it?), the timing (with technology, surely the beasties would be seen?) and so on until I want to burn the damn thing, or delete it all.

But, I keep coming back to the story being able to stand on its own. That it’s a good story and there are only a few places that I think ‘huh, that doesn’t sound quite right’. And so I let it sit some more, tired of second-guessing myself.

I do this with nearly all the books I’ve written: good enough to revisit and tinker with; not good enough to send out.

To get away from that dilemma, I usually start work on another book. So here I sit, writing chapter outlines for book 24 (wow, that many) – ten are unfinished for one reason or another. Yeah, I know I’ve said I’m an organic writer, but I also wonder if the lack of confidence in my books stem from a doubt that they fit properly.

I’m trying a new way of plotting: write out the chapter synopsus, er, synopsii, synopsises(?)… ah, outlines… and then breaking it down into scenes - yahoo, I’m reinventing the wheel! – and trying desperately not to get bored with the process. If nothing else, the chapter briefs will be a guide even if I do toss the scenes. I’m expecting to keep on track for… maybe the first five chapters. After that, I’ll probably be back to the old stand by position of ‘and then…’ and start free writing again.

I live in hope that one of the many is good enough to be published. Maybe this one.