Discipline... or a lack of it

I looked at the masterpiece outline I did for Nano and have found it to be a load of old cobblers.

I've always thought that to be a writer takes a great deal of discipline. Not just to sit down and pour out whatever's in your head, but to concentrate on the who's, the whats, the whens, the whys and the hows. To do that, a plan of action has to be formulated to answer all those questions; careful research must be done so as to not incur the wrath of educated readers, dialogue sampled, especially if writing a character with an accent. A target audience thought about, a publisher of that genre sought out. The whole thing has to be crafted into bite size pieces, scenes, if you will, and a final word count aimed for. The list goes on and I am so aware of authors who take months to plan and plot before ever starting the actual story.

Yet, I seem singularly incapable of such discipline. I get an idea and run with it, without a lot of forethought. The characters appear, fully formed, as if they are someone I might meet in the street. They are hidden, though, from me as much as the reader. Through the story, they reveal themselves on the long journey. Which is why, I suppose, that twists surprise me - and lead me to wonder what else I'm hiding from myself.

Is this another form of discipline? Steven King and Sue Grafton both write without much of an outline. Others do, too, with great success.

It makes me remember my mother saying 'learn the orthodox, before you try the unorthodox.' Wise words, but I can't make myself learn this way. And, as yet another outline is dumped, I have to think that I've found my way of writing and no amount of force-feeding myself other methods is going to work.

It's time move on and just write, I think. What works for me, won't work for others - it's simply a different mind set; I'm happy with that.