Do what he says

I know you've probably seen this before, but it bears repeating, especially in today's geo-political climate. It's not my religion or faith, but in this, it doesn't matter; it applies to all:

And it came to pass that God visited the Earth, and he did behold a series of billboard ads attributing to Him utterances of such banality that they would never pass His lips in a billion years. And it came to pass that God in His wrath considered a libel suit, but in the end opted simply to mount an ad campaign of his own...

If you didn't hear it straight from my lips, take it with a grain of salt;

I never said, "Thou shalt not think";

Okay, you've got multiplying down. Now, let's try replenishing for a while;

I don't care who started it! Just stop it;

If you seek to know my ways, read a damn science book;

You'd better have stopped fighting by the time I get back, or you're all grounded;

Six days? Yeah, right. I'm a scientist, not a magician;

If I wanted you to have seven kids, I would have given you a bigger planet;

You're not tracking those bloody footprints in here;

E=mc2. Yeah, that's one of mine;

You can have another kid when you learn to take care of the first one;

The dinosaurs didn't believe in you either;

Excuse me? Where do you see my name on the front of the Bible?

Only six thousand years old? Oh, that's a good one;

Just look at this planet! Do you expect me to clean this up?

I love Marilyn Manson, too. Maybe more than I love you;

Here's a clue: if they say they're doing it my name, they're lying;

I'm flattered you liked my book so much; now why don't you read something new?

Want to know how old the is? Ask the earth, not the Bible;

If you don't clean this place up, you won't get another millennium;

I like to kick things off with a bang. A Big Bang;

All this will someday be your children's;

There is no such thing as killing in my name;

Stop smirking, America, I'm talking to you, too.

God

I think it says it all, though no doubt fundamentalist would disagree ferociously, especially those who don't believe in evolution and who believe the Christian God speaks to them directly like some personal assistant. 1800 Oh, as if!