Friday, March 20, 2009

Touch, pause, engage!

Anyone who knows these words understand they are spoken by a referee about to mediate between two teams in a rugby union scrum.

But they've taken on a whole new meaning with the release of Mills & Boons new eight part series involving a swell gal and a rugby player.

Romance embraces Rugby

Given that a Mills & Boon book is sold every three or so seconds, I can only see success for the series, and perhaps an increased increased in rugby union.

I just wonder how they're going to get around the usual stereotypical description of a rugby player, the cauliflower ears, the scarred features, the tape around the brow to hold the ears in, the scent of Denco-rub or magic spray.

All I can think of are our own rugby players, and there are some fine specimens of manhood representing Australia. England? Not so much.

Questions must be asked:

Will the heroine find herself rucked out or tearful at the break-down? Will anyone intercept the pill and show a clean pair of heels? If the lineout turns into a maul, will she be able to identify the mauler? Will she be penalised for hands in the ruck? Can she stay on her feet, run the angles and make a long pass?

I guess, since it's an M & B that it will be up to him to keep possession and avoid the turnovers.

The next time I watch a rugby match and listen to the ref say: "Touch, pause, engage." I'll be thinking of an alternative meaning...

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