So the big-ass spider is still there this morning.
I know it's smug, I can see the damned smile from across the room. It is dripping in smug.
Yeah, come on, human, just you try coming near me.
"But... I need to go outside."
Not caring. This wall is MINE. Go find your own, and let me remind you: I have eight legs; I can run faster than you. And I jump. Can you?
"Whoa! Don't run at me! Jeez! Look, I just want to go out and check the veggie patch from last night's storm, check the weather station. Why don't you go hide behind the picture frame, hmm? I'll just nip out, make sure the zucchinis are okay and..."
What? Sneak up behind me with a rolled up newspaper? Spray me with stuff that won't kill me, but will piss me off? I don't think so.
"I could always go out the front door and around the side of the house. That way, I won't bother you, and you won't be bothered by me."
Why don't you do that. Oh, and say hello to one of my brothers. He's sitting on the bonnet of your car...