On hold

Dear Sir/Madam,

I know I must be important to you because you've called me twice: once during dinner and once while I was caring for my mother. Do you know how hard it was to track down every damn pea that got tossed in the air because the ringing startled me? As for Mother, well, she never lets a call go unanswered no matter what... predicament she might be in.

The only reason I dashed to the telephone to answer was that maybe, just maybe, I'd won Lotto and someone was calling to let me know. Oh, the visions of what I could do with 25 million dollars.

So I answered your urgent call, "Hello?" There was a click, as if I was being put through to someone equally as important and I cleared my throat, ready to squeal like a fan-girl. Only... I heard muzak. YOU PUT ME ON F***ING HOLD!!!

How many ways can I put this? Um... No. YOU called ME; YOU do NOT put me on HOLD! YOU explain what the hell you want, or I'm hanging up!

Now, I understand you're probably busy people, with numerous calls going through at the same time, but please understand: my time is valuable, to me and I'll not be hanging around watching my dinner cool or my mother... um, let's not go there and say we did... for an important person such as yourself to get back to me. I don't give a rat's bladder that you're busy, you do not treat me - or anyone - with such contempt and expect a pleasant conversation.

And if you ringing to say I've won another damn free mobile phone, let me reiterate: I DON'T NEED ONE! Especially if it's a part of a special package of only $50 a month for a two year contract. That's not free.

I'm just sayin'. Now, if you'd like to leave me your number... I'll get back to you.

regards,

JP.